Q & A discussion between seniors and parents

Toward the end of each school year, we ask a panel of seniors to meet informally with the PFA at a general meeting to talk about their Catlin Gabel experiences. The seniors never fail to impress. They address questions and concerns raised by parents of children in all four divisions of the school.

Kate Grant, college counselor and dean of students, forms the panel by asking students who represent a diversity of experiences and interests. Some students are Lifers; others entered at Middle School or Upper School. Some are athletes, others artists or computer buffs. Some are academic superstars, others are more laid back about school. This year seven seniors were on the panel.

Most questions are answered by more than one student. Each bullet point is a different person's answer.

1. If you could take one thing from Catlin Gabel that you wouldn’t change, what would it be? (Each new paragraph is a different student's answer.) more
2. Extracurricular vs. curricular – looking back, do you wish you had done something else or do you feel it balanced out over the years? more
3. Can you talk about college prep in terms of applying, selecting colleges, anticipation of getting admitted? more
4. Did you have enough time to work on college stuff or did you have to do it on your own time? more
5. You talk a lot about stress. Who helps you deal with that? more
6. What about drugs and alcohol here on campus? more
7. What have your parents done to help you here? more
8. Stress comes up a lot. Is that an internal thing about you, or how much is imposed by this environment? Are there any relaxed people on this panel? more
9. What’s the balance at home? Do your parents make you help around the house or do they let you focus on your homework? more
10. What about other high schools in this community? more
11. Do we really have kids who are hurtful and/or disrespectful? Did you raise awareness with kids? more
12. What forms would the outreaches take? more
13. Did you do more service hours in Middle School? How many do just 15 hours? more
14. Given the desire to relate to community and experience diversity, how many have considered a Gap Year program? more
15. Did your parents want you to come here? Did you feel that CGS offered more? What made you come here? more
16. Being a Lifer, how was the evolution of your academics and investigations curriculum, going from no letter grades to letter grades? more
17. Do you have a better foundation? more
18. How are your experiences with math and science? more
19. How well prepared were you for high school if you came from Catlin Gabel’s middle school? more
20. About joy – where does the happiness come from? more
21. What about your down time? During or after school day? more
22. Diversity – how do peers support each other? What are the cliques like? more
23. About outdoor education program: it’s evolving with input from students, too. more
24. Small numbers – boyfriends, girlfriends, dating? What’s it like? more

• If you could take one thing from Catlin Gabel that you wouldn’t change, what would it be? (Each new paragraph is a different student's answer.)

• • Catlin Gabel’s size. We benefited from close relationships. It can be kind of insular and it would be great to have more outreaches to the outside community.

  • Rigorous academics I wouldn’t change – it made me feel that I was doing well because of things I learned – I feel prepared for college.

  • Wouldn’t change academic rigor – AP level is normal

  • There’s been a movement to lower homework but don’t think it’s a good idea.

  • There are some areas – English needs to be reined in once in a while. Overall it’s a strong program, and that’s what you come to CGS for.

  • Some value to homework – but it is vastly overrated! Extracurricular experience has been helpful in discovering who I am as a person – homework doesn’t cover that. CGS can play a bigger role in emotionally/psychologically developing students, not just academic.

• Extracurricular vs. curricular – looking back, do you wish you had done something else or do you feel it balanced out over the years?

• • This year I ran track for the first time but I wish I’d started sooner. It’s always a struggle to choose school trips vs. homework; family stuff is important, too.

  • Did soccer, cross-country and track, this year robotics and bowling. There is such a wide variety of extracurricular choices. You have to figure out priorities and put some things on hold, but there’s a balance you can achieve. It is stressful to do too many things at once. Everyone knows what you’re taking.

  • You can burn out – I'm an average human being. Commuting via bus takes so much time but you do a lot of homework. There’s a lot of extracurriculars I couldn’t have done, like Model UN -- I thought I couldn’t miss that much school. Bowling was fun! I would practice piano if I had less homework.

• Can you talk about college prep in terms of applying, selecting colleges, anticipation of getting admitted?

• • There’s some prep but not that much that came with classes, academics. I applied to 9 colleges; some were very academic, some weren’t. I liked different colleges for specific reasons. I didn’t feel CGS stressed that I had to go to highly academic college. In the end the transition wasn’t that hard; just another step in the timeline. It’s all incorporated – not so much special prep.

  • Best part of it is being able to pop into someone’s office and talk about the waiting and the application process and cry to Kate [Grant] about how stressful it is. I’ve been writing college essays since junior year and it was easy to choose from practice ones. Just the waiting was hard.

  • Kate and Robyn Washburn (registrar) were good about reminding us of deadlines so that we were aware of them and got the applications in on time. The SAT people were horrible. I didn’t know how to apply, etc., by the deadlines or that you needed to pay to apply to colleges. Other teachers were helpful besides Kate. Robyn helped a lot with deadlines.

  • Catlin Gabel tends to funnel you into smaller colleges, which is good for some, but there are other suggestions needed for bigger schools.

  • College counselors make a lot of difference. Junior year is the hardest -- that’s the GPA they see, then the grades from the first semester of senior year. There’s no reason not to do early action/early decision.

  • Counselors make the differences. Kate, John Keyes.

  • Senior year was harder than I thought – classes are tough and then you have college on top of it.

• Did you have enough time to work on college stuff or did you have to do it on your own time?

• • My GPA took a hit. If I saw an extracurricular I liked, I did it.

  • The teachers talk about it like they do give you time to work on college applications, but I don’t think they do.

  • We were in creative writing – college essay was the biggest part for me. In creative writing class we could use our essays so it was helpful to do class work that would work for college. In some ways it was built into the curriculum to work on essay skills.

• You talk a lot about stress. Who helps you deal with that?

• • Peer Helpers are there to help you talk about things. George Thompson (Upper School Counselor) is a great help. (Others agree.)

  • I wouldn’t normally go to him but I hear he’s great.

  • I’ve gone to my C & C advisor when things got tough my sophomore year. Dave Tash (math teacher) is here early in the mornings and I have appreciated his “tough love” approach.

  • There’s a strong sense of security with teachers; they’re approachable and great to talk to. You’re never afraid to talk to George Thompson. Peter Green (outdoor program director, and dean of students starting July 1) is another very approachable teacher.

• What about drugs and alcohol here on campus?

• • It’s definitely here but it’s easy to avoid. If you really want to [do drugs/alcohol] you can, but it’s also easy not to. There is no “peer pressure” pressuring students to take drugs, but your friends feel comfortable telling you not to do them. The level of work here is a big deterrent.

• What have your parents done to help you here?

• • I did stuff on my own. If you have stress, then that’s when parents need to step in. But parents should let the student do their own homework or paper. Parents can ask them how it was, but don’t tell them how to do things anymore. Be a friend, not a parent.

  • Parents weren’t involved – they cared and I could talk to them. The biggest thing was during college process, they didn’t pressure me to look at this or that school. They let me decide what schools to apply to

  • It’s good to know how the student is progressing but a hands-off approach is very healthy. Freshman and sophomore years I didn’t do so well, but junior and senior years I did better. Having your parents reading your papers and otherwise looming over you adds to anxiety.

  • If your son is in his bedroom listening to Nirvrana, take it as a hint!

• Stress comes up a lot. Is that an internal thing about you, or how much is imposed by this environment? Are there any relaxed people on this panel?

• • I put more on myself to do well than anyone else. My expectations are higher.

  • I’m a little nuts, but it depends on the person and what stresses you out. It depends on how difficult a paper is for you.

  • Stress is a hot-button word at CG. It makes student think they aren’t pushing themselves if they aren’t under stress. In Spain (during an exchange year) it was more relaxed and it gave me perspective about realistic expectations. Stress is not healthy. Time away gave me good perspective.

  • The amount of stress depends on circumstances – if you focus only on school, your stress level will be lower. If you have a job, Catlin Gabel doesn’t take that into account.

• What’s the balance at home? Do your parents make you help around the house or do they let you focus on your homework?

• • My parents want me to do chores (I live on a farm). My dad couldn’t do it alone -- I had to help out and do my part. They didn’t force me but they really appreciated it when I did.

• What about other high schools in this community?

• • They are easier. (Others nod in agreement.)

• Do we really have kids who are hurtful and/or disrespectful? Did you raise awareness with kids?

• • People aren’t being malicious; they just don’t get the black perspective. They had no idea. They thought it was just about music and movies. It was a shock to them that my feelings were hurt. It’s not an unsafe community – it’s about educating the ignorant ones. (Answered in reference to a comment about casual use of the "N-word.")

  • When I started here, we had a great diversity conference – now it’s just our own students talking about issues. We need more of a diverse community; more students from the outside community would help a lot. With the same friends you just get the same perspective.

• What forms would the outreaches take?

• • Just get kids to meet more outside CG. Go out into the bigger community and meet people different than you.

  • Volunteering hours are very small – 15 hours. Should be more.

  • We volunteer at Cinco de Mayo festival, at other schools; my Spanish class does a lot outside CG. I’ve gained enormous perspective.

  • CG is small and you’ll learn more about the world in college.

• Did you do more service hours in Middle School? How many do just 15 hours?

• • Most did more, especially in the summers. Volunteering is important but you have to fit it into your academic life.

• Given the desire to relate to community and experience diversity, how many have considered a Gap Year program?

• • I am doing that. I will travel and volunteer.

  • After spending time in Spain I have a better perspective.

• Did your parents want you to come here? Did you feel that CGS offered more? What made you come here?

• • I moved up from California from a public school – applied to Jesuit and CG and got into both. It was my decision to come here. I don’t remember why. I visited and it didn’t feel like a stereotypical high school.

• Being a Lifer, how was the evolution of your academics and investigations curriculum, going from no letter grades to letter grades?

• • Actually, we aren’t supposed to have letter grades. High school has been the best part. I wish I had been elsewhere for part of it just for the experience. Lower School grades were less academically centered.

  • Coming in 9th grade, I appreciated it, and the lower grades sound so fun!

• Do you have a better foundation?

• • No better than anyone else. Depends on where or when you transferred. And it depends on what the school emphasized, whether math or science prep from other schools vs. CG. It built up nicely and works. Wish I’d had a bit more of a broad experience.

  • Lots of sophomore boys know all the songs from elementary school!!

  Other responses to why they came here

  • One boy came from Arbor School; graduated with 17 kids. CGS was a huge step up!

  • Arbor didn’t have grades. I wasn’t assigned a single grade except maybe a math score. They keep you up to speed.

  • I applied to OES and CGS. My principal (Kit Hawkins) prodded me more toward CGS. CGS was more accepting than OES. CGS students were more welcoming to a newcomer than OES.

  • My mom made me come. I was unmotivated in 8th grade; went to Japan for school; my mom made me apply to CGS. I tried hard on the app, but didn’t want to leave my friends. I liked where I was and didn’t want to commute. I had lots of reasons for not coming to Catlin Gabel. I now love it and I love being in these classes. English class is the most memorable part of Catlin Gabel; sophomore English (Tony Stocks). I wouldn’t have been as challenged; I wouldn’t have been able to go to Bard.

• How are your experiences with math and science?

• • I’m a big math-science person, taking calculus, and AP computer. CG’s math/science programs are very strong. They get smaller as you go up, but calculus class is challenging and thorough. I was prepared for the AP test. For advanced physics – it’s one of the best classes. Math-science courses allow you to take off more. Resources are there if you take advantage of them.

  • I was better prepared coming from public school. When I came CGS was top in state for SAT and ACT. So there has to be something there. We beat OES!
  I hate math with a burning passion. I could have stopped with Algebra II; Dave Tash is the greatest teacher; he’s really patient.

  • I was born in Poland and my parents were both scientists. They saw my homework in MS and said that’s for second grade! Catlin Gabel’s math program is strong enough for me. I’m not a big math person.

  • They integrated Bio-Phys-Chem and do that each year. Junior and senior year you can take electives and branch out, regular or advanced. Teachers are great.

• How well prepared were you for high school if you came from Catlin Gabel’s middle school?

• • Transition from 8th to 9th is hard no matter where you come from.

  • I could write essays and lab reports, but 9th grade is just a big transition year. MS sets you up for high school but it’s stressful for everyone. And it evens out during freshman year; everyone is on an even level. All agree that it’s hard for everyone.

  • You’re at a disadvantage if you don’t come from Catlin Gabel’s Middle School.

  • Coming from Arbor, it wasn’t that hard.

  • Kate –we’ve been more intentional in working with the 8th grade team about the transition to 9th. We teach them time management and study skills to help them. We incorporate that into freshman orientation.

  • It’s best learned over the year; it’s the best way to learn. We aren’t supposed to focus on grades, right?? That’s how they grade you – if you show improvement by the end then it’s great.

  • One thing I’d not change is the nonemphasis on grades – what’s the point if you get all As?

• About joy – where does the happiness come from?

• • The work is hard, but it’s fun. Detective class (Art Leo) was great; I chose to take classes I really liked; I stopped history class.

  • This year I’m having more fun, especially if you choose the classes you like.

  • A good paper conference. You have to experience stress before you can feel really happy! All the hard work can then bring you joy.

• What about your down time? During or after school day?

• • I love English class! The joy is in the work. You have to like school.

  • The most fun I had was the extracurriculars. Golf at the end of the day -- getting out of the classroom is the most fun.

• Diversity – how do peers support each other? What are the cliques like?

• • Cliques are a more subtle distinction. There are the more outdoor kids, but everyone kind of floats around. We do support each other more. It’s hard to support someone you don’t see that often.

  • Kate G – What every faculty member loves about Catlin Gabel students is how gracious the students are about the successes of other students. Accomplishments are celebrated, like giving a standing ovation to a sophomore who played a piano recital.

  • There’s room for students to be appreciated for who they are. It’s what keeps most of us here. It’s a place where students celebrate each other. You get to know people you wouldn’t ordinarily get to know elsewhere. You learn to appreciate people you didn’t know before.

• About outdoor education program: it’s evolving with input from students, too.

• • I am very involved in the program. Peter does a really good job of introducing us to experiences. It’s one of the biggest parts of my experience.

  • Doing a trip is good but you need a lot of time spent away from homework – you have to plan ahead for weekends.

  • It’s a popular program and Peter always wants kids who haven’t been on trips before.

• Small numbers – boyfriends, girlfriends, dating? What’s it like?

• • Dating happens a lot earlier in HS – people find each other early and your friends stay the same.