Talking with them and previewing these changes can be very powerful. Start by asking them about their friendships. Find out who they are hanging around with and what games they are playing. If their friendships have not yet shifted, let them know this might happen and brainstorm with them ways to adapt to this change. Preview  with them what this might be like and have them generate ideas as to what they will do if they want to move to a new social group or seem to be struggling with their current friendships. They may choose a new activity, start playing with a new kid, or find a teacher to help them negotiate these shifting seas. This process will not only help them understand that this is a normal part of 5th grade, but more importantly, there are multiple ways and solutions to coping with these changes.

 

As your child begins to play with forms of social power, you may need to talk with them about the appropriate use of this power. Children of this age need to understand that they have a social responsibility to wield this power appropriately. This, in fact, becomes the time of shifting from “just because I can doesn’t mean I should.” Talk with your child about your family values and what you believe to be important. Share with them your expectations and what kind of leader you wish them to be. Always help them see there are multiple solutions to any problem and now they have the obligation to pick the one that serves the greater good.