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Empty the Lot Day

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Thursday, October 14

Choose how you cruise

On this symbolic day, the Catlin Gabel community will join in an effort to empty the parking lot!

We urge you to try using a different form of transportation if you usually travel by car. Help reduce your carbon footprint and do your part to keep the air clean for everyone. You may even find that you prefer riding the bus with your friends or biking in the crisp morning air!

Choose how you cruise

How will YOU get to school?
  • Bike
  • Walk
  • Carpool (link to carpool map)
  • MAX or TriMet
  • Ride the Catlin Gabel bus for free – one day only special
Sign-up is required even for regular riders.

Beginning and Lower School parents: Ginny Malm has access to the online registration information so you don't need to call her if you sign up online by Thursday, October 7.

Happy travels!


Welcome back to school

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Letter from Lark Palma

Welcome! I hope you are looking forward to the 2009-10 school year as much as I am. Some fabulous new students are joining us in all four divisions. I know that returning families will join me in welcoming our new community members.

We are proud to open with full enrollment. We were able to increase this year’s financial aid budget by 41 percent, which allowed us to keep our community together despite the recession. This is a real testament to our board members and their commitment to making financial aid a school priority. While we have never been frivolous spenders, faculty and staff worked hard to trim budgets without negatively affecting the academic and co-curricular programs. The school’s long-term financial health is in great shape.

To our parents: sending your child to Catlin Gabel is a big commitment, and we deeply appreciate the trust you have placed in us. Your child will have a great year in school. Your daughter or son will be enthusiastic about learning and will grow in ways you do not expect. Our extraordinary teachers, librarians, counselors, and support staff members will work side by side with students to make learning engaging and challenging. 

Teachers and staff members were busy throughout the summer preparing for students to return. The much-needed new coat of paint on the Barn symbolizes our approach to education: honor our traditions while making things fresh and new. We launch the year fully invested in all our students’ success at school.

 Catlin Gabel teachers are extraordinary, as exemplified this spring and summer by four faculty members who received honors of note. The United States Department of State and the J. William Fulbright Foreign Scholarship Board honored two teachers with awards: Paul Monheimer, 7th grade world cultures teacher, was awarded a Distinguished Fulbright Award in Teaching to conduct research in Israel spring semester, and Cindy Beals, Upper School math teacher, received a Fulbright Teacher Exchange grant to teach in Turkey for the 2009-10 academic year. I am pleased to welcome 6th grade math teacher Nagame (pronounced Nah may) Karamustafaoglu from Turkey, who came as part of the Fulbright Teacher Exchange. Upper School English teacher Nichole Tassoni attended a seminar on Dante in Italy this summer sponsored by the National Endowment for the Humanities. The American Immigration Council awarded Upper School Spanish teacher Lauren Reggero-Toledano a grant for her project, “The Hispanic Presence in Oregon During the Great Depression and Today.” Read more about the awards that speak to the excellence of our faculty in the “Congrats!” article.

As the 2009-10 school year begins, I invite you to join Upper School students and teachers in reading Mountains Beyond Mountains. We are fortunate and thrilled to welcome the author, Pulitzer Prize winner Tracy Kidder, to campus for this year’s Karl Jonske ’99 memorial lecture on Tuesday, October 13, at 11:30 a.m. in the Cabell Center Theater. You are all welcome to attend this special Upper School assembly.

I look forward to seeing everyone on campus again and finding out about your summer and your hopes for this new year. It’s going to be a great one!

Yours truly,
Lark Palma
Head of School



Bus schedules posted, daily service begins September 3

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Tired of traffic hassles?

Send your kids to school on the Catlin Gabel bus! Riding the bus is good for the environment, reduces parking lot overcrowding, and saves you time and money.

The 2009-10 bus schedules are posted on the school web site on the Bus Service page in the Parents section.

Parents must print out, complete, and sign two 2009-10 required documents (Department of Education Regulations and Parent Guidelines) authorizing bus ridership for this year. The documents are posted as PDF files on the Bus Service page. Please return the completed documents to the administrative assistant in your child’s division.



Notes from Our Educational Leaders

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From the Spring 2009 Caller

Farewell, Pam McComas

Pam McComas, head of Beginning School and associate head of school, left Catlin Gabel in June to become director of the K-6 division of the 860-student Chadwick School in Palos Verdes, California. Pam was instrumental in leading many large-scale projects during her 14 years at the school, including the process for evaluating faculty and administrators, the Imagine 2020 conference in 2006, and the creation and implementation of a schoolwide curriculum map. She also served for a year as interim head of the Upper School.

“I often say one of my wisest decisions was to hire Pam the summer I arrived at school,” said school head Lark Palma. “She has been a mentor for me in early childhood education, a wise counsel, and the creator of the professional development program and curriculum rubric we use today. If you have been in a meeting she has facilitated, you know her talent for bringing folks to consensus. Most of all, her heart, her progressive education DNA, and her voice always reminding us to walk our talk and live our philosophy has helped keep us centered. I know how lucky her new school, colleagues, and school head are in bringing her into their community.”

“I am thrilled with the prospect of a new adventure and sad to be leaving this remarkable school. This life transition brings me close to my two-year-old granddaughter, Rita, and that’s a good thing. I will miss Catlin Gabel and everyone here terribly, and the Beehive will always hold a special place in my heart. Interestingly, after 14 years at Catlin Gabel, I will be leaving in June along with the graduating ‘lifer’ seniors who started at the same time I did in the Beginning School,” said Pam. Hannah Whitehead, 6th grade humanities teacher and former Beehive teacher, will serve as interim head of the Beginning School.


A Brief Musing on My First Two Years at Catlin Gabel

By Michael Heath, Upper School head

Here’s what amazed me first when I arrived at Catlin Gabel in the fall of 2007—that students shape their lives a lot more here than at other schools, that we expect them to take an idea and make it happen. I just came back from our annual kidnap day (a student idea!), where the Upper School student government whisks away their classmates. The student officers stayed behind to clean up the community center where they had spent the day, and I was so proud of them. They had done it all, and done it all well.

The collective wisdom of Clint Darling and John Keyes in my first year made a significant difference. It speaks volumes about both of them that even though they had each held my position, not once did either of them say, “Well, when I was Upper School head, we did it this way!” And the other faculty members have proved to be extraordinary, and supportive. I’d like the faculty to see each other in action more, because they are so uncommonly good, and sometimes when you’re teaching in that bubble, working hard with your head down, you don’t hear that enough.

Parents here genuinely trust the teachers, the school, and the peer groups their sons and daughters find themselves in. It makes such a difference to be in this kind of school. When I hear feedback from parents, it’s typically a good point about how to make something better—or we end up having a great conversation about the various facets of an issue. It shapes the way we do things, to a large extent.

It is difficult to capture the totality of my first two years. So much has happened, and there is so much I love about this community. But what I quickly learned about Catlin Gabel people is that they are inspiring, generous, and welcoming.

Water and Wonder

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Kindergarterners help design a new water feature
From the Spring 2009 Caller

By Nadine Fiedler

 Kindergarteners' models of teh water featureWater, water everywhere! If you walked into the kindergarten this year, you’d see 34 glass jars of water, collected by each student. Near the doorway, a picture graph showed the 42 cups of water wasted if you run the water while brushing your teeth. Diagrams of storm drains showed children’s thinking about pipes and water systems. Drawings of families at the beach or in rivers told stories about how children love to play in the water.

All this thinking and learning about water was sparked by a gift from a former Beehive parent, who left its final use up to the teachers. Their inspiration was the delight a water feature in the outside courtyard would provide for their students.

“The best thing about this gift was that we were given money to dream and invent something we had always wanted for the Beginning School. We wanted a project that would be interactive and imaginative. This will be a classroom learning project for years to come,” says the kindergarten team of Joanne Dreier, Betsy McCormick, and Sue Henry.

Kindergartener's drawing of water feature ideasSo began a brand-new teaching project for these three, evolving over several months of daily discovery. They wanted the children to be involved in the water feature from the beginning, so they told them about the gift and asked for their ideas about bringing water to the courtyard. In further exploration of water Joanne, Betsy, and Sue taught sophisticated concepts such as fluid dynamics, the water cycle, displacement, filtering, and conservation. “To experience these things as young children, when scientific concepts are yet to be developed, brings a sense of exploration, challenges assumptions, and sparks wondering,” the teachers say.

The kindergarten team began the journey by asking the students and their families to provide a memory of family fun in the water. Further activities included collecting water in the small jars, which brought in samples from Mt. Hood snow to bubble bath water. Soon the children became campus “water detectives,” seeking out water and figuring out where it comes from and where it goes. Each child designed and made a clay water catcher to collect water drops, because rain water will be the main source for the water feature. They experimented with displacement, finding out to their surprise that grapes sink and squashes float. They learned how to make water go uphill. Small groups of children collaborated to create models of possible water features, from ponds to waterfalls to streams to mazes to fountains.

The final design of Little Eagle Creek incorporates students’ ideas and invites them to do what they love to do with water: dam, splash, play, and learn. Best of all, the construction was done before the end of the school year so that these ingenious kindergartners—and their ingenious teachers—could enjoy the embodiment of their ideas and their common explorations.

 K teamThe kindergarten team: SUE HENRY, BETSY McCORMICK, JOANNE DREIER
Sue, Betsy, and Joanne have been working as a team for more than 20 years. Joanne and Betsy are classroom teachers, and Sue is in charge of projects. They are quoted collectively here because their ideas spark from one to the other, and it’s hard to say where one stops speaking and another begins. They are that united, and they are quick to say “although we each bring different things to the table, we all have a serious commitment to young children. We are all instinctively able to recognize what young children love to do. We’re sort of like the children ourselves.

“We’re committed to teaching the basic skills of math and literacy, but equally important, our job is to listen, question, and set up a thought-provoking environment. The kindergartners’ job is to make sense of their world.”

Nadine Fiedler is editor of the Caller and director of publications and public relations.

We did it! The Annual Fund reached its $892,500 goal!

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Thank you to everyone who participated and gave so generously during this economically challenging year.
For additional information about Annual Giving, please contact:

Eileen Andersen
Director of Annual Giving
8825 SW Barnes Road
Portland, OR 97225
503-297-1894 x306

Spring Festival '09

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The Beginning School parade, first grade maypole dance, Lower School performances, the Upper School jazz band, games, food, and fun!

Teacher Allen Schauffler talks about hygiene in a "germy job"

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KATU TV news story, May 09

Student Assessment and Grades

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Q&A with division heads

Most of us attended schools with report cards and infrequent parent-teacher conferences that may have been convened only when a student was in trouble. Things are different at Catlin Gabel. We asked our division heads, Pam McComas, Vicki Roscoe, Paul Andrichuk, and Michael Heath, to talk about our unique approach to student assessment and grades.

How does Catlin Gabel differ from other schools regarding assessments?

Pam: In some schools, students focus their attention and energies on tests. Getting good grades is then linked to the ability to anticipate what will be on the test. Catlin Gabel teachers do not define learning in this way. As goofy as it may seem to some to not give letter grades outright, the practice helps focus student attention on our instructional goals: depth of understanding, creative thinking, and analytic reasoning. These are the lasting gifts of a good education. In a world in which the fund of knowledge doubles every couple of years, these skills will serve students best.

What do we assess?

Pam: As a progressive school we are firmly focused on the development of more than academics. Intellectual growth and social-emotional health are also fundamental elements of a well-rounded education, and so our assessments include these as well. Teachers are interested in their students’ abilities to reason and their depth of thinking, as well as the specific content and skills they have learned. Creative approaches to problems, resiliency, and interpersonal skills and dispositions (persistence, for one) also figure into assessments. Our goal is to educate good people as well as academically skilled students.

What do written evaluations and parent-teacher conferences tell parents about their kids that letter grades do not?

Paul: Written evaluations tell parents about their child’s learning disposition, motivation, response to feedback, and what engages him or her in school life. The teachers can write and talk about specific challenges, such as a child who seems to know the material but does not hand in homework or a student who does fine in class but is experiencing social challenges. Middle Schoolers are experiencing rapid physical and emotional changes. We want parents to understand how these stressors can affect their children’s learning.

Vicki: We do not give letter grades or standardized achievement tests in the Lower School. We believe that showing parents evidence of learning is much more authentic and powerful than a letter on a page. And if the children themselves take ownership of their learning and are responsible for presenting it to you, and are part of celebrating their strengths and successes and setting their own goals - well, in short, it doesn’t get better than that.

Why do students get grades in the Upper School?

Michael: All in all we do a good job of focusing on the things that grades fail to measure: knowledge, sophisticated self-reflection, the ability to think deeply and communicate lucidly, and the cultivated desire to invest in a community and the world. At the same time most colleges and universities request a transcript with letter grades. While we want our children to earn these “measures” of high achievement so that colleges will recognize our students as the intelligent, engaged learners they are, we do not want to overemphasize the importance of the GPA.

How does our Upper School grading compare with other schools?

Michael: Our grade spread is typical of independent schools across the country. Colleges know that when a school awards 50 percent of its students a 4.0 GPA, then that school’s standards are not comparable to a school like ours. Last year a faculty task force compared Catlin Gabel to other highly academic benchmark schools and their grade distributions. As a result of their work three substantial changes were put into place. We added an A+ for truly outstanding students, giving all students the possibility of earning higher GPAs. We instituted the practice of giving individual faculty members a report on how their grading matches up with others in their departments and with every teacher in the Upper School. Finally, we revamped our school profile that is sent to colleges and universities so that students from Catlin Gabel are viewed in the specific context of our program and standards—including how we grade. These changes have made a positive difference already.

What do you say to parents who just want to know where their child stands?

Michael: We resist what I call the Antiques Roadshow syndrome. On the Antiques Roadshow, participants bring in family treasures from their attics so an expert can assess their value. The experts go into all kinds of interesting detail about provenance, design, etc. The owner feigns enthusiastic engagement—when everyone can see that what he really wants to know is how much the thing is worth. We never want parents in conferences or reading narrative reports to think, yes, this is all very interesting, but what’s her letter grade? We provide useful information about how children are learning and thriving. We do want you and your daughters and sons to fully understand where they stand, as it were. It is vital that in every case where a student is struggling, teachers are clear and honest, and offer ameliorating strategies for the individual. The last thing we want in those instances is for parents to be surprised further down the road.

What is the value of parent-teacher conferences?

Vicki: Teaching is about relationship building. Once healthy bonds are made between the teacher, the student, and the student’s family, there is no limit to the learning that can take place. Conferencing is essential to strengthening this partnership. Sometimes parents see a side of child that is not revealed at home. Occasionally, when parents hear about a child taking personal responsibility for cleaning up or helping others they say, “Are we talking about the same kid?!”

Michael: And in the Upper School, when each student has as many as six or seven teachers, these teachers may see a different side to the child when they hear what their colleagues observe. For example, a parent told me about a conference where her son’s math teacher described a problem the boy had with differentiating symbols. His history teacher leaned forward excitedly and said, maybe that explains why he writes well but doesn’t use proper punctuation! Then all six teachers talked about how they could help her son with his particular learning challenge.

When children work with so many teachers how are assessments shared by faculty members?

Pam: In all four divisions teachers, counselors, and learning specialists have formal and informal conversations about individual students. We continually share insights, anecdotes, and progress reports with one another. This gives us a 360-degree view of the child’s learning from math to art to language to social skills. The net effect is that each teacher’s assessment enriches our collective understanding of each student’s learning style, current challenges, and accomplishments. We do a better job of teaching than we would if we worked in isolation from one another.

How are students involved with their evaluations?

Paul: Our assessment practices actively involve students in their own learning. We help students develop their ability to self-assess and articulate their learning styles. Part of this involves asking students to reflect on how well they understand the material. More importantly, the students develop a better sense of how they think about learning. When students know themselves as learners, they are able to create their own learning opportunities. Research tells us that the closer the assessment is to the student, including the criteria and standards for assessing “quality,” the more value it has for him or her.
Vicki: Students in the Lower School and in 7th grade are involved in student-led conferences. I guess that makes them student-parent-teacher conferences. Children get to report their own progress, which makes them active participants in their assessment. Let’s face it, the adults can talk until they are blue in the face, and set the most meaningful and relevant goals in the world for the child, but the goals will never be realized until the kid is actually involved. Our goal is for the children to be intrinsic learners; we’ll never get there unless they are empowered to be part of the process.

How do the close student teacher relationships and small class sizes affect assessment?

Michael: Our low student-teacher ratio allows for in-depth guidance. Our kids are trained to address the substance of the work. Conversations between student and teacher are educational ones, not bottom-line ones. For example, after Upper School teachers send mid-term reports, each student has a one-on-one meeting with his or her advisor to reflect together on the academic progress students have made. Some of the questions advisors ask are: What surprised you about some of these comments? What are you particularly proud of here? If you were to pick just one thing you wanted to focus on for the rest of the year, what would that be? One of the school characteristics that comes up again and again when I meet with prospective students and their parents is the way we know the students in our classes and C&Cs (advisory groups).

Beginning School Grandparents & Special Friends Day

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Preschool and kindergarten teachers and students welcomed guests for a morning at school.


Early Childhood Education

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Young children can learn more and faster than anyone knew, certainly faster than the parents and teachers of just twenty years ago knew. Does this mean that schools should teach more, earlier? Some say we should. Preschoolers and kindergarten children are held to higher academic expectations than ever before in history. Five-year olds in most Oregon schools are required to have an hour and a half of literacy instruction every day, leaving scant time for science, art, math, stories, music or simple playfulness. This intense focus on academics coupled with high anxiety about education creates incredible pressures — on children and their teachers.

But is clamping down on early learning in a one-size-expectation-fits-all way really the way to go? I don’t think so. Instruction that works with older children is not so effective with young children. Preschoolers and kindergarteners are not simply little, less informed adults who learn in the same ways you and I do. You know this as parents — very young children have particular ways of learning. As teachers, we know this too — from developmental psychologists, pediatricians, brain researchers, and of course, from our own experience.

For this reason, teaching and learning in the Beehive looks unlike it does for any other age group, and academics are one part of early schooling, not the centerpiece. Unlike colleagues in other schools, we are lucky to have professional latitude to support each child to be a curious, creative, self-directed learner who uses his or her mind well. Here, children’s days are not defined by goals dictated by distant experts, textbook publishers or curriculum directors who may or may not understand young learners. Teaching and learning in the Beehive is informed by research, national standards, many years of classroom experience, and what we know of your children — what they are curious about, love to do, or are especially good at.

Our approach works. Honeybees and Eagles come happily to school, always a good sign. By the end of kindergarten, most have beginning academics in place, developed in classrooms customized for young learners. I think of it as “riding the horse in the direction it wants to go,” designing curriculum that fits children, not the other way around.

Many over-estimate the importance of early academics. In the end, we know every child here will learn to read, write, and compute. Four- and five-year-olds have so many big, important things to learn. We want academics, of course — and so much more for your children.

This article was written by Pam McComas, former beginning school head and associate head of school

Homecoming 2008

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The Catlin Gabel Eagles faced the OES Ardvaarks on a beautiful fall night. The varsity boys made a valiant effort, but lost 2-0. The JV boys were victorious at 1-0. The fans, including plenty of alumni and guests from OES, enjoyed a festive night of soccer, barbecue, and entertainment by the jazz band and the dance club. Senior soccer players and their parents were honored.

Science Celebration

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September 2008

On September 16, elder statesman of the science department Paul Dickinson officially dedicated the new Upper School science lab with a ribbon cutting. Retired teacher Lowell Herr, current teacher Dan Griffiths, and students Rivka Shenoy ’09 and Megan Stater ’12 spoke beautifully about their passion for science teaching and learning.

Three alumni, Lee McIntyre ’80, Kristen Hege ’80, and Chris Gibson ’01, talked via video about the role of science education in their careers. Watch the videos.


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By Pam McComas, beginning school head and associate head of school

The following PamNote appeared in the December 2007 Beginning School Buzz.

Blessings -- that’s what I think about at this time of year. We enjoy so many: healthy children, warm homes, and a school that cares deeply about the well-being of each child. For a long time I have counted Catlin among my blessings.

My connection to Catlin Gabel started long before I came to work here. My son entered kindergarten in 1984, eleven years before I started as Beginning School Head. Like many of you, I was a little rattled by the admissions process. After the visit I remember wincing when he told me that he had drawn the cartoon figure He-Man even though the teacher had asked him to draw a person. Oh dear. Not only did he not follow directions, but now teachers in a fine private school knew that I allowed my son to watch déclassé TV shows! Not the impression I had hoped to make. Happily, he was admitted anyway.

Betsy McCormick was my son’s first teacher and what a great year he had. She helped that rough-and-tumble little boy love school. Later, as an interim kindergarten teacher, I worked alongside Allen Schauffler, a wise colleague. In my professional life, I moved on to do other things. But as a parent, I knew that this school provided something special for children: flexibility and understanding. Peggy McDonnell, lower school music teacher, was stalwart in the face of resistance. My son complained vigorously about having to learn to play the recorder, only to earn a college degree, many years later in – you guessed it – music. (Just goes to show that making predictions about a growing child is iffy at best.) My son Chris was an intense, funny, endearing, hard-to-shift little knucklehead. But he was my little knucklehead. I was crazy about him and yet, even so, I still sometimes felt humbled as a parent. At those times, his teachers offered much needed, much appreciated perspective.

Parenting is challenging and none of us do it perfectly. We all feel confounded and a little guilty from time to time. We start out with idealized images of how we will be as parents, images that bump up against the realities of the children we live with every day -- children who present their own unique personalities, independent ideas, and daily reminders that we are hardly perfect.

One educator put it this way: “We are rescued again and again by love and forgiveness, and by the capacity to laugh at our imperfections, and by the pleasures that come with growth. Thankfully, parents can partner with teachers along the way. Who better to share our parental joy, understand our concerns, and believe wholeheartedly that our children will flourish, each in their unique and surprising ways, and grow into fine people.”

I was buoyed by knowing that teachers saw my son as a delightful, developing person with more than enough plusses to balance out the trickier parts. They saw the best in him and that made all the difference to him and to me. It is my hope that you and your child experience that kind of partnership, care and understanding, just as we did.

I wish the same for every child, everywhere, in the imperfect year ahead.

From Rescue to Resilience

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by Pam McComas, beginning school head and associate head of school

The following PamNote appeared in the November 2007 Beginning School Buzz.

As you may know, I am a grandmother. My granddaughter Rita is a joy. It is also a joy -- fascinating really -- watching my son become a parent. Christopher is a musician, married to a writer, and lives in Los Angeles. We talk a couple of times a week about all sorts of things, but Rita and parenting are often topics of discussion. He is, I should mention, a guy with strong opinions. He was born with strong reactions and his Catlin Gabel education strengthened his penchant for speaking his mind.

One conversation last August went like this: Christopher, sighing deeply: "Mom, you know how annoying it is when people act like their kid is the center of the universe? And they go on and on and on about how their child is the smartest child ever.

I nod in silence on the other end of the phone.

Christopher pauses for a time, then: "But, you know, I think Rita IS really smart!" Ah, the irony. I love that. (By the way, Rita was not yet 6 months old.)

But isn't that great? Just the way it ought to be, really. Every child should have at least one adult in their lives who thinks they are the most wonderful being ever. It ought to be a birthright. Here you go: one grown-up, completely smitten with you.

One day Rita will go off to school and I hope her dad still thinks she is an adorable genius. When that day comes, both Rita and her dad will have some adapting to do. Because you see, Rita will join a class that will be full of children whose parents are equally crazy about them. And, one of the most important things for a child to learn is how to be – not only a member of a group – but also how to make that group work better because they are a part of it.

This is such an important thing for people to know, because interpersonal and social intelligence is the single biggest predictor of leading a satisfying, successful life. Teachers know this. Throughout the school, at every level, teachers create classroom situations that call on students to develop these skills. It starts here, in the Beginning School where there is a big emphasis on becoming a classroom community member. Teachers in the Beginning School do a great job. But they can’t do it alone. They need your help, and so do your children. You are the coach, the interpreter, the model for you child. You bridge home, where your child’s needs are central to everything -- and school, where she is one in a group. You help guide your child’s shift from her individual sphere to a collective one in the official world of School. This represents a big shift -- for both of you.

What can you do to help? Make the internal shift yourself. This is not unlike the airline asking you to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting your child. Be mindful of the new demands that school requires. Classroom expectations are fundamentally different than those you have for your child at home. So, consider your child in this new school context and use this new mindset as you parent. Then try the following.

First, shift your parenting from Rescue to Resilience. What does that mean? It makes perfect sense for parents of very young children to shield them from disappointment, difficulty, and hurt because they are vulnerable and your role is to protect. As a child begins school, however, it is time to begin to expand your repertoire so that she can develop her own ‘muscles’ for dealing with those rough patches herself. At school you are not there to buffer them, much as you might like to. The good news is that she is maturing and getting sturdier every day, growing more capable of handling childhood difficulties herself. Your challenge is to stop thinking about your child’s frailties, but instead to see her emerging capabilities and resilience. Then, parent from this re-centered perspective and begin to move from “I protect and rescue you” to “You can handle it.” You will, of course, coach and support, but convey confidence in your child’s growing capacity to manage more and more on her own.

Secondly, broaden your parenting focus from simply You and Me (individuals in a special relationship) to All of Us (an inclusive, collective perspective). Of course your child will always be at the center of your world, but your perspective as a parent broadens now that she is a part of a collective, her class. Ask yourself, “How can I help my child learn about boundaries and responsibilities in community?” Model this awareness yourself. You too find yourself in a new collective – with other parents of children in your child’s class. Let your child know that you are both part of a new situation – school – and that the rules of the road are a bit different when you are here at school.

When children come to School in the Beehive -- with a capital ‘S’ -- life changes for children and their parents. There is a new consciousness about your place in the world and your impact on the group. These are big, important lessons -- lessons that my brilliant granddaughter Rita will make one day with the help of her doting dad. Lucky girl.

Your children are lucky too. They have all of you to help them understand their place in the larger, more official world of School.

Lucky us, because we get to participate in this awakening.

Tonight you will hear from your child’s teachers. As you do, be thinking about how you can support your child in light of these new demands. Expand your parenting repertoire from Rescue to Resilience and from ‘You and Me’ to ‘All of Us.’