Second Thoughts
by Anna Bishop
November 30, 2010

I pull on my tights,
yanking at the fabric,
thoughts taunting my brain.
Tightening a leather belt
until I feel
as if breath is disappearing
throughout my body.
I splash powdered makeup
onto my pale cheeks
and run what seems like blood
onto my lips.
Thinking about the future.
How will they react?
Can I do this?
Can I really do this?
Stumbling on the uneven carpeting,
I thrust a brush through my tangled hair.
The thought of fainting fills my head
but I must push
forward.
I reach for possibly my last drink of fluid,
taking a sip,
water trickling down my chin.

And then
my time was up.
Hearing a loud applause,
I re-think everything that I have been through.

Should I push on?
Should I go back?
A hoarse voice near echoes
calming the rustic waves
of life.
Running toward fear,
I enter the cold,
unforgiving platform.
A strong light pierces my eyes,
sweat dripping down
my worried face.

Here I go.

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